COUPLES THAT DIDN'T WORK: Elton John & A Woman

There's nothing better than mixing work with pleasure, a born romantic Elton John proposed to his recording engineer Renate Blauel in a restaurant in Sydney, Australia and four days later they married on Valentine's Day. Elton married Renate at St. Mark's church in Darling Point, Sydney with Elton's long time friend Oliva Newton-John in attendance. At the time it was well publicised that Elton was bisexual.  After just three years Elton's relationship had flickered and went out 'like a candle in the wind'. Elton and Renate filed for divorce with Elton stating 'I was not honest with Renate, I married her while I knew my truth was different'. I guess the journey to Australia wasn't a total loss, on the same journey Elton also picked up a Melbourne tram and shipped it back to his stately home in Southampton to use as an office. Recapping the 80's Elton blames his poor decision making on his drug and alcohol abuse, I guess it's like Rick James said 'Cocaine's a hell of a drug'. Oh, and in case you hadn't worked it out - the reason the marriage didn't last is because Elton likes men.

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COUPLES THAT DIDN'T WORK: Whitney & Bobby

Even though the Royal Wedding has come and gone let's not forget that even though it works out in the beginning some people clutch at straws and the relationship lasts far beyond its use by date. Whitney was the golden child of 80's R&B, coincidently enough she also went out with Eddie Murphy in the 80's who was actually in The Golden Child. Bobby Brown on the other hand was the 'Bad Boy' of R&B and was formally in the boy band New Edition which he left in 1985. The stupid thing about going out with Bad Boys is that IT NEVER WORKS OUT. Hell it didn't even work for George in Seinfeld, it always ends badly. 1992 was the year that Whitney was in The Bodyguard, it was also the year she married Bobby Brown, talk about highs and lows. In this case Bobby turned Whitney on to 'the rock' and apparently she spent days on end in her bedroom getting high on crack! Bobby ended up in court for driving under the influence and not appearing in court and after the divorce they ended up in court again as Whitney refused for the kids to see Bobby. I'm kind of on her side with that one. The couple divorced in 2006, after numerous allegations and photo evidence Whitney still claims 'Crack is whack'. In my book a 14 year marriage to Bobby Brown is also considered whack.

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COUPLES THAT DIDN'T WORK: Flavor Flav & Brigitte Nielsen

The Royal Wedding is tomorrow!!! Flavor Flav wears a clock around his neck, stands at 5'5" has a whiny voice and has an attempted murder charge against him. Brigette Neilsen is a tall blonde 6'0" model actress who met Flavor on a reality TV show while she was engaged to another man. They went out for a year between 2004 -2005, Brigitte then went back to her former fiance and later booked her self in to rehab for substance abuse. Im guessing she was most heavily under the influence between 2004 -2005. But then again Flavor does send a positive message to all short guys out there....reach for the stars!

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PAPA JOHNS: Kate & Will Pizza

The long weekend is upon us in a few days and not too long after that there is another long weekend thanks to the royal wedding. Hell, its so close you can taste it....literally... If you have ever had the (dis)pleasure of sampling a Papa John's pizza you will well know that it is far from fine dining. Now it will not only be tasteless but also unsavoury,  available in Britain only for £500!

Via UPI
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